To Papa, who is a big part of me.

Hi Papa.

I remembered you when the clock struck twelve. This is my first birthday without you.

It is you with whom I have spent the longest time of my life. For long periods of time, it would always be just the two of us together at home.

It goes without saying then that you are a big part of who I am.

From Grade 1 until I finished high school, you drove me to school and to almost everywhere I needed to go. In the afternoon or even when it's late at night, you were there to fetch me.

For farther destinations, you always made sure I'd get a ride. For our trips to Manila, you always got us bus tickets as early as possible. You did not want us to be chance passengers or to settle for aisle seats.

When someone asks me what my favorite food is, I answer eggs. You cooked eggs for me in most of the breakfasts you served me. We added eggs to noodles, canned tuna, and even leftover adobo. I remember, in college, I once called to ask you how long do I have to wait for a perfectly boiled egg.

I would wake up with a fully charged phone and I would not miss breakfast or my vitamins. All of those you would prepare early in the morning.

You did them every day that I forgot how much they meant.

Love isn't only in the form of grand, heroic gestures. Love also comes in small, everyday things that tend to get unnoticed.

A big part of me is you.

I enjoy getting my knuckles cracked or my fingers massaged, since you used to do them to me randomly.

I rode the bicycle with you when I was in kindergarten. One time I got my foot stuck in the back wheel, which worried you greatly. The scar I got near my ankle grew with me.

I learned to cook at home by following online recipes. You were the first and regular to taste them, and you said I can cook, even telling others.

You were so great at card games, chess, and mahjong. I beat my cousins in pusoy and taught my classmates the hows of tong-its.

You owned a video rental store. My first time in the movie house was with you. We talked about MMFF entries. Years later, I took a liking to films and got my Letterboxd account.

You loved recording NBA team standings and match results on scratch papers, complete with tables. I love reading Wikipedia articles with tables that show standings or stats of players in TV shows or competitions I follow.

Our relatives say you were good at jokes and you would always make them laugh. My close friends know me for my quips and antics.

You were the brightest in your class back in your day. I marched as valedictorian in elem and high school.

You followed the livestreams of Leni-Kiko sorties. We wore their shirts and attended a caravan two days before the elections. We played "Rosas" on our phones.

We checked on each other every day through Messenger chat when I began college in UP. That went on every time I wasn't at home. We never missed a day, until that Saturday when you never replied.

Your love for me, the moments we shared, and even our arguments and misunderstandings make up a bulk of who I am today.

I miss you the most today on my 23rd birthday, Papa.

It is you with whom I have spent the longest time of my life, and that won't hold true anymore in the next years.